And The Winner Is…
Just who is Michael? In his days of yore, Michael worked as a freelance golf ball washer where his hourly wage was $0.72, a jar of cookies, and three square yards of carpeting. One day, after a freakish midlife crisis triggered by him getting the wrong order at White Castle, he spent the next .6180339887 years putting his life into perspective.
Soon after he came to the startling realization that the Earth is probably not as flat as he’d previously believed he found himself uncontrollably pulled towards music where he founded his first band. Enya: The Cover Band: The Movie: The Game. Of course the lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll followed, naturally. After many hectic years touring through Latvia his marshmallow peanut addiction caught up with him and soon he was doing his impression of Lindsay Lohan’s rehab history.
And because I like happy endings he got his act straightened out, started his new band Yodeling Politicians which went bronze thanks to such hits has “Lick My Institution” and “The Bruce Campbell Striptease Experience”. After that he had indie record labels throwing him offers left and right and he began touring excessively and successfully throughout Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania.
Ok, enough of that crap. Congratulations Michael. May this pedal bring you years and years of personal comfort. May it cuddle you on those cold nights.
If you didn’t win then turn that frown upside down because you’re still good to go for future giveaways as long as you keep following on Twitter or Facebook. We’ve got one right around the corner that needs a bit of ironing out, so sit tight and don’t touch that dial.
Disclaimer: If you’ve read this and actually believe any of it to be true (aside from the whole winner gets the pedal thing) then seek a brain transplant immediately.