Alright. The Air Guitar Championship is touring the country as we speak. Bummer we’re a bit late on this as they’ve already finished two locations, but hey. They’ve still got plenty more air guitaring to go.
So, the tour began on the 12th of this month and is running up through to July 23, where the finals will be held in Chicago. What happens after that? All winners in the regional competitions compete at the finals. The winner there gets a free trip to Finland where the World freaking Air Guitar Championship is held. What a beefy title that is.
In case you haven’t heard about how it works let me bring you up to speed. The air guitarist has one minute performance time for any part of any song they choose followed by a surprise song. The instrument must be a guitar built of air molecules, so if you go thinking your clever and playing that air xylaphone you snuck on stage your ass is disqualified. All roadies, groupies, and backup bands, air and real alike are not permitted on stage and must purchase their own ticket.
Judges will scrutinize your performance in the most schrewd of manners based on your technique (how closely it looks like you’re playing the song), your pesence and willingness to rock out on stage with no instrument at all, and airness… whatever that specifically means is beyond me, but it sure seems easy to spot when someone has it.
I remember when I first learned about all of this. I foolishly thought it was a joke, but of course I went and watched the performances anyway and all the merry little way I thought to myself, “hey… this is pretty cool.” I still have fond memories of watching Miri Park going nuts to “Hot for Teacher” wearing that school girl outfit. Yeah, that was a series of delightful principles bundled into one joyful minute.
I want to think that air guitar competitions are better than real guitar competitions because really. Anyone can do this so everyone has a fair shot. If you can afford the $20 entry fee you’re good to go. No need to buy a bunch of expensive gear and listen to tone snobs clamour on about tube this and analog that, or tone deaf snobs all going digital this and auto tune that. You don’t even have to have ever played the instrument before. How awesome is that? It’s more like a “how willing are you to be yourself on stage in front of thousands of people while you pretend to have convulsions” contest.
Here’s a link to the site. If you just happen to be a reader who is going to or competing in the Air Guitar Championship, then please fire us an email. We’d love to hear about it from someone first hand.