Hey Man, Is That Freedom Rock?

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Freedom Rock

A Moment of Nostalgia

Freedom RockSome of our readers may be a bit young to remember these, but the other night, whilst Tim and I plotted world domination, we’d gotten distracted with old music compilation infomercials. The first one up to bat was the age old Freedom Rock.

For those of you too young to remember, back in an age before the internet with all of its streaming audio/video, social networking, and all of its other conveniences, there were infomercials on television. Some company (or perhaps there were multiple companies – I’ve no idea how cutthroat this industry was) would put together various compilations of generational music. They all more or less had the same features. They never had just bad actors. They had the worst breed of actors. The kind that could make even Ed Wood cringe.

The video we’d found was Freedom Rock. Don’t wait on me to describe it. Take a look for yourself.

Just to take a moment to nitpick…

“You remember the good old days? You know. War, protest, going to jail.”

Yeah. The good ol’ days. I’m not exactly a spring chicken here, but this generation is before my time, and not by a small margin. However, in all the conversations with my elders I’ve ever had, not once has anyone described war, going to jail, and fighting political tyranny as “the good ol’ days”. They all described it more as a pain in the ass because… well… They didn’t want to be in a war, they wanted to trust politicians, and who wants to go to jail? I love the idea that there’s demographic out there that that appeals to.

And what’s up with that bipolar guy on the left? After boisterously asking, “hey man, is that freedom rock?” He demands the music be turned up. Then immediately after that he yells “TURN THAT DOWN, MAN!”

Let’s get something straight, hippy on the left. You don’t turn Freedom Rock down. That’s like turning freedom itself down.

Getting a Hold of Freedom

My day job, while not exactly the most happening place, doesn’t quite offer the sensation of solitary confinement that I’m often looking for. After the infomercial was over I knew the Freedom Rock compilation was right for me. I grabbed my cell phone off my desk and called the 800 number presented in the infomercial and what do you know? The number still worked. I don’t know if it was the same company that was behind the scenes in the infomercial, but it was still a third party distributor.

Some woman answered the phone and I explained my interest in getting some tape cassettes of the Freedom Rock compilation (gotta get some extras just in case I wear them down). And can you believe it? They were out of stock. The woman was mostly confused through the entire conversation and she didn’t even know what I was talking about. How could this be?

In all fairness, Tim and I both enjoy a lot of the music mentioned in this video. If any of these songs came up on the radio I’d have no problem. But if this infomercial started playing… well… It’s like you’re in the store with your toddler and he/she decides to just strip down butt naked in the aisle. You’re kinda embarrassed to own up to it and you hope no one notices while you try and sweep the whole mess under the rug, so to speak.

Kyle Smitchens

Kyle Smitchens is the Guitar-Muse Managing Editor, super hero extraordinaire, and all around great guy. He has been playing guitar since his late teens and writing personal biographies almost as long. An appreciator of all music, his biggest influences include Tchaikovsky, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Steve Vai, Therion, and Jon Levasseur of Cryptopsy.

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