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The Kiss Hello Kitty Juggernaut
You know, I’ve taken a bit of time in the past to poke fun at Gene Simmons and the whole Kiss crew in the past for their curious business endeavors. I don’t think it’s much of an argument that the band is more of a product brand than anything anymore. So I’ve since taken it upon myself to express perplexity over the numerous curious decisions made with said brand. I still haven’t gotten over the whole Hello Kitty toilet paper thing. But the licensing of Kiss and Hello Kitty doesn’t stop at the ass-wiping services anymore. Now Kiss is launching a Hello Kitty television show. For kids.
I guess they wanted to test the Kiss/Hello Kitty market with toilet paper first. You know. Make sure there’s a demographic first. Toilet paper makes more sense than a television show, doesn’t it?
So as if all of this My Little Pony crap wasn’t congesting enough Gene Simmons has assume the role of the executive producer for a show featuring four Kiss kitties who are all about rocking out and handling every situation with “pink anarchy”. Sounds riveting.
The show is scheduled to air on the Hub Network, a station that Paul Stanley has evidently praised already. He went as far as to state that Hub was the perfect channel to bring the quote “Kiss Hello Kitty juggernaut to yet another generation”. How many generations before this one did Kiss and Hello Kitty team up to indoctrinate? Furthermore wasn’t Kiss one of those bands that parents used to scorn and forbid their kids to listen to? Weren’t they supposed to have been a bad influence on us?
What’s even more amusing is this quote I’d found while researching this. Hello Kitty proprietor Sanrio’s rep Roberto Lanzi commented “this is not the first Hello Kitty crossover for Sanrio, but for sure the most unexpected.” Really? A Kiss Hello Kitty television show is even more unexpected than TOILET PAPER? Yes. That warrants caps lock. When you live in the 21st century and you cite a cartoon show as being more surprising than licensed toilet paper caps lock is forgivable. I know I’m really fixated on that toilet paper, but damn.
As a side note while I was working on this article I was talking to a buddy of mine. When I told him of Kiss’ big plan here his gut reaction was “awesome”. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I pressed further to understand why he thought this was awesome. His response: “I’d imagine it would be awesome in the way that Mr. Jingles or ‘Manos’ the Hands of Fate is”. Anyone that knows a thing or two about those movies will understand what he means. I rest my case.
We all know this is a far cry from the first (or last) time that the Kiss name will be used as a brand; and what’s it matter to Gene Simmons the tangents of some dude in No Where, Ohio when I can only imagine a fraction of what his revenue from this will be? Bleh.
After much overexposure to this my brain is telling me I’m too stupid to live. I’m gonna go give myself a lobotomy now. Where’s my power drill?