You know what? News bores me sometimes. It can be fun from time to time, but right now I’m bored with it so I’m going to delve into the darkest reserves of my imagination where what nocturnal denizens lurk even I fear to inquire about. And what that means to you is you’re getting a bunch of random stuff, but since this is a web site about guitars the premise is it at least has to have something to do with guitars.
Yeah, for some reason I’ve got this thing with the sacred matrimony of beer and guitars.
I especially like the signs that have the beer logo and a guitar, but have never been turned into a guitar. Dean, Bud Light, and Miller Lite have been turned into guitars. Why not you, Pabst Blue Ribbon?
And that would be a monstrous 1967 Gibson Flying V.
Clocking in at over 43 feet long and over 16 feet wide, with a weight of 2,244 pounds it’s built out of two-by-fours and plywood.
There are actually a bunch of other competetively sized Strats, Teles, acoustics, etc., but this one’s a Flying V, so it wins. I don’t have a legitimate reason for why it wins, but it does. Just go with it.
A bit predictable, sure, but why not?
I’ve got a lot of space to fill and when you bring up something like the last one naturally you start to think of the opposite.
As expected we have the nano guitar which is about as big as a single cell in any one person’s body. And it’s actually playable too. It has 6 strings that can be strummed by an atomic force microscope. Sure you can’t hear them, but the novelty of the possibility is there.
8. EHX Batteries
Electro-Harmonix is making batteries intended for effects pedals, so that counts.
Decorated with Mike Matthews’ money maker, these 9 volt batteries are made with classic carbon zinc instead of that junk-town alkaline stuff. Now you too can grip that unruly, pink bunny by the ears, tell him what’s up, and pitch him to the way side because these aren’t your grandma’s batteries.
Suggested Use: Consider putting these in your smoke detector for a crisper, clearer beeping tone when your house is burning down. As you run madly outside of your house your neighbors will be nearby asking “was that a vacuum tube smoke detector?” You can promptly shove the EHX battery you keep in your back pocket reserved for this occasion right in their face to set the record straight.
7. Guitar Programs Like Guitar Pro For Example
I do most of my musical work on my computer. Naturally that includes Guitar Pro.
I find Guitar Pro to be a heinous program and nearly every time I use it I find myself in an intellectual battle of wits with it because I’m a pretentious, purist pain-in-the-ass kind of guy that insists on using sheet music exclusively for writing music, and Guitar Pro is primarily a tab editor. We don’t always see eye to eye. Having said that I use the program nearly every day all the same and in the end it does what I need it to do. So yeah. Fun.
Who didn’t love Legos when they were a kid?
I know I did and I can tell you from personal, surreal, architectural experience that I’ve never made anything as awesome as a guitar with real electronics, pickups, and hardware in it.
I don’t think the neck could support the tension, though, but one would have to wonder how that would sound.
You don’t come across many bands that indulge in personalized airplanes, and with Bruce Dickinson being a licensed pilot that actually works for Astraeus Airlines their powers combined resulted in an airplane with Iron Maiden’s logo and artwork blazed across the fuselage of an Astraeus 757 which was used as the band’s means of transport on previous world tours.
The relation to guitars is indirect, but since Iron Maiden is a metal band with three guitarists. It counts.
Because those rickety, old tubes can be good for more than just running your guitar’s signal through to the speakers. After you finish jamming you can break this set out and relive Bobby Fischer’s triumph over Donald Byrne. Or you could just be like me and start every game with the King’s Gambit and then lose right after that. All the same. Tubes go in guitar amps and those are used with guitars. It counts.
3. Guitar Accessories
Why? Because how many instruments are as tonally versatile as the guitar is with what you use to play the guitar? Slides, thin picks, thick picks, padded picks, E-Bows, violin bows, your fingers. Anything you can smack the strings with will offer a different sound and that’s one of the many things that makes the guitar so great.
You get picks made in all sorts of sizes and shapes and from all sorts of materials. You know what pianists get? Pedals. Tell them to crack that thing open and see how it sounds when played with a trusty Jim Dunlop Jazz III. They’ll be the laughing stock.
Wind instrumentalists would have to master circular breathing if they wanted to play a tone as long as you can with an E-Bow. Surgeon General recommends using an EHX 9 volt battery in your E-Bow. I guarantee they’ll be telling you how great you sounded while you were putting them in their place.
2. Cthulhu Guitars
(Click To Enlarge)
There isn’t really enough info out there on these guitars to make whole entire articles here, but my over zealous enthusiasm of the works of H.P. Lovecraft forbid me to observe guitars like these and just not say anything, so here they are. The airbrushed one based off the modern silent film Call of Cthulhu is made from an ESP and the other is a mondo modified Jackson. No snazzy one-liners or clever quips. Just a couple of guitars this time.
How couldn’t this be number 1? Evil Dead is one of the greatest franchises ever and slapping Bruce Campbell with his classic Homelite XL chainsaw overhead ready to come down on an unsuspecting deadite into a flurry of klaatu virada heavy metal as no doubt this modified Explorer would be intended to do equates to awesome in my book. And it would/should in your book presuming you know what’s good for you.