Winner of The EHX Stereo Talking Machine

Read Time 2 Minutes

EHX Talking Machine Pedal
EHX Talking Machine Pedal

Let September 1st henceforth be known as Sam Piro Awareness Day.

Sam Piro, whose name literally translates to “he who wears a kilt made from a quilt,” is the first son of a first son.  He is actually already world famous for his expansive collection of shoes that have stepped in gum as well as having over 700 copies of disc 3 from the season 2 DVD collection of Gilmour Girls.  Recently when speaking to him and his friend his friend disregarded his collection as junk to which Sam retaliated, “is that all junk?  Or are they MacGyverisms waiting to happen?”

In addition he has toured the world performing tap-break dancing to Sousa march music, an elegant dance which he has made several groundbreaking lectures to the janitors of Harvard University.  As a matter of fact he pioneered the style when he wrote three whole and entire quarters of one Sousa march that blended the baroque fugue style with his big band jazz influences and a dash of Latvian folk music into one massive march which would have exceeded 17 hours were he to ever complete it.

That has not hindered him from showcasing the incomplete composition as it is.  Quite removed from such a thought, as a matter of fact.  He has toured globally performing the piece as it’s written and ending each performance by just sort of stopping and exclaiming, “I don’t know what comes next,” then just walking off stage.  The success even garnered him the opportunity to be the headliner of the first concert ever held in Antarctica, an event that would lure in 1.618 million crazed Sousa march fans.

So let’s hear it for Sam Piro.  Congratulations and enjoy the pedal.  And everyone else.  Be aware of Sam Piro every September 1st.

And don’t go touching that dial just yet. Were you to have been one of the lucky few that didn’t really walk out of here with anything tangible then fear not for you are already ready to rock on the next give away which is already in the works, so sit tight.


Also.  Disclaimer time.  This article is fiction and for laughs.  If you took it seriously or are of the credulous variety then… I dunno.  Don’t.  Not much I can do beyond that.

Similar Posts:

Kyle Smitchens

Kyle Smitchens is the Guitar-Muse Managing Editor, super hero extraordinaire, and all around great guy. He has been playing guitar since his late teens and writing personal biographies almost as long. An appreciator of all music, his biggest influences include Tchaikovsky, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Steve Vai, Therion, and Jon Levasseur of Cryptopsy.

Notify of
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x