Zakk Wylde Has a Creepy Stalker Fan

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Zakk Wylde's Creepy Gift
Zakk Wylde's Creepy Gift
Zakk Wylde's Creepy Gift - Photo Credit:

Yeah, you read that right.  Zakk Wylde, Black Label Society guitarist and world record holder for the most signature products, has himself a stalker who happens to be a 20-year old neighbor.

The stalker left the famed guitarist a gift on his front porch in the form of a sacrifice.  At least that’s what official documents call it.  To me it looks like a guitar with some post it notes, and a flannel shirt.  Specific details about it haven’t been released at the moment, so don’t go running with that statement of ambiguity as though it were official.

All the same it’s kinda creepy – and Wylde coincidentally had similar perceptions upon his discovery of the hideous artifact wrought from an unspeakable mind of madness as he presumably was leisurely strolling to the end of his driveway, adorned in a bathrobe, to retrieve the Sunday paper as he’s said to read (according to rumor and hearsay) while having his morning tea.

Whatever tentacled abomination he may have hoped to have summoned with this aside, the alignment of the stars was wrong and all he accomplished was freaking Zakk Wylde out, who then reacted by filing a restraining order.  The unnamed architect of the sacrifice went through 72 hours of mental evaluation and surfaced with a bipolar diagnosis to accompany the 100-yard minimal distance from Wylde and the rest of his family.

In addition they will be settling further details in court this coming Friday.

Obviously we’ve blatantly taken the picture from as you can clearly tell in the image of the sacrifice.  Thanks, guys.  Have a high five on me.

Related: Have you heard Zakk Wylde’s “Iron Man” recording with William Shatner?

Kyle Smitchens

Kyle Smitchens is the Guitar-Muse Managing Editor, super hero extraordinaire, and all around great guy. He has been playing guitar since his late teens and writing personal biographies almost as long. An appreciator of all music, his biggest influences include Tchaikovsky, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Steve Vai, Therion, and Jon Levasseur of Cryptopsy.

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